Question: If a man has correspondence with a non-mahram woman and they fall in love with each other, is that act considered forbidden?

Response: Such an act is not allowed. It stirs up desires between the two. It stirs impulses in the two to meet and contact each other. Many times, the correspondence turns into soft speech that is a temptation and plants the love for fornication in the heart. I advise anyone who wants what is best for himself to remain away from such correspondence and speech in order to preserve one's religion and honor.

Shaikh ibn Jibreen

Correspondence between Young Men and Women is Not Allowed

Question: What is the ruling concerning letters or correspondence between young men and women, given that these correspondences do not contain any lewdness, passion or amorous flavor?

Response: It is not allowed for a man to have correspondence with any woman whom he is not related to. This s because this is a source of temptation. The one involved may think that there is no temptation involved but the Devil may continue to work on him until he becomes enticed by her and her by him. The Prophet (peace be upon him) ordered that the one who heard about the anti-Christ's arrival should remain far away from him. He said that a man will come to him as a believer but the anti-Christ will keep working on him until he tempts him. Similarly, correspondence between young men and women is a great temptation and something very much to be avoided. One must refrain from it even if he claims that there is no lewdness or passion involved. As for correspondence between men and men or between women and women, there is no harm in that as long as such correspondence does not contain anything forbidden.

Shaikh ibn Jibreen

Speaking to Women on the Phone

Question: What is the ruling concerning a young man who is not married speaking to a young lady who is also not married over the telephone?

Response: It is not allowed to speak with a non-related woman with any speech that stirs desires, such as in a flirtatious, coquettish or soft manner. This is not allowed whether it is over the telephone or otherwise. Allah has said, "Be not soft in speech, lest those in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire" (al-Ahzab 32).

There is no harm in casual speech due to some need if it is free from any sort of evil. However, such speech must be restricted to only what is necessary.

Shaikh ibn Jibreen

Correspondence between opposite sex over the Internet

Question:

As salamu alaykum

I asked a sister for her hand in marriage on-line and we talk to each other casually on the internet; is it allowed to speak to her even though I am not able to get married until I graduate (in 3 years). was salamu alaykum

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

If a proper nikaah (marriage contract) has been done, then you can talk to her however you want, whenever you want, because she is legally your wife, even if you have not yet consummated the marriage. But if the Islamic contract has not yet been done, then she is still a "stranger" (non-mahram) to you, so avoid speaking directly to her. As for corresponding with her via e-mail or the Internet, there is nothing wrong with doing so, as long as the content of your letters is restricted to permissible matters such as advising, teaching and so on.

But be very careful not to get dragged into romantic talk or anything else that could inflame desires or result in something bad.

May Allaah help us and you to obey Him and to avoid everything that may earn His wrath. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

Sheikh al-Munajjid

Ruling Concerning Women Looking at Non-Mahram Men

Question: What is the ruling concerning a woman looking at non-mahram men?

Response: We advise women not to look at non-mahram men. It is best for the woman if she is not seen by the men and she does not see them. There is no difference on this point between a battlefield or a sports field. A woman is weak and can easily be swayed. Many times, a woman looks at a movie or picture of a young man and her emotions and desires are excited. This expose her to temptation. Being away from the causes of temptation is always the safest approach.

Shaikh ibn Jibreen

Ruling Concerning a Woman Looking at Men

Question: What is the ruling concerning a woman looking at men on television or casual looks in the streets?

Response: A woman looking at a man must be one of two cases, regardless of whether it be on television or otherwise. First is a look with lust.

This is forbidden as it contains evil and temptation. Second is a simple look free of any kind of lust and desire. There is no harm in that kind of look according to the correct opinion of the scholars. It is permissible because it is confirmed in the Sahihs of al-Bukhari and Muslim that Aisha watched the Abbysinians doing their war dance. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was concealing her from them and he approved of what she was doing. Furthermore, women walk in the streets and they look at men although they are wearing hijab. A woman may look at a man even though he does not see her. However, this is conditional that the look not be accompanied with lust, desire or temptation. If it is a look of lust or temptation, then it is forbidden regardless of whether it be on television or otherwise.

Shaikh ibn Uthaimin

A woman loving a man in her heart

Question:

is it wrong for a girl to love someone in her heart and wish allah to marry her to this guy?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

If this love is not distracting you from the love of Allaah, and will not lead to you doing or saying anything haraam, then there is nothing wrong with this, in sha Allaah, or with praying to Allaah to make him a part of your future - so long as he is a Muslim who fears Allaah.

Sheikh al-Munajjid

Prohibition of Shaking Hands with a Non-Related Woman - 1

Question: Why does Islam forbid a man from shaking the hand of a woman whom he is not related to? Does shaking hands without lust invalidate one's ablution?

Response: Islam has forbidden that because it is a temptation. One of the greatest forms of temptation is for a man to touch a woman he is not related to. Everything that leads to temptation is prohibited by the Law. This is why one is required to lower one's gaze as a means of blocking that evil. As for a man touching his wife, it does not invalidate the ablution. This is so even if it is done with lust-- unless he releases some prostatic fluid or sperm. In that case, he must make ghusl if it were sperm; he must make ablution and wash his male organ and testicles if it were prostatic fluid.

Shaikh ibn Uthaimin

Prohibition of Shaking Hands with a Non-Related Woman - 2

Question:

Is it allowable for a Muslim woman to greet a Muslim man by shaking hands?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

For a man to shake hands with a non-mahram woman (one to whom he is not related) is haraam and is not permitted at all.

Among the evidence for this is the hadeeth of Ma'qal ibn Yassaar (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: "The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: 'If one of you were to be struck in the head with an iron needle, it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman he is not allowed to." (Reported by al-Tabaraani; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami', 5045).

There is no doubt that for a man to touch a non-mahram woman is one of the causes of fitnah (turmoil, temptation), provocation of desire and committing haraam deeds. No one should say that their intention is sound or their heart is clean, because the one who was the purest of heart and the most chaste of all, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched a non-mahram woman, even when accepting bay'ah (oath of allegiance) from women. He did not hold their hands when accepting their bay'ah, as he did with men; their bay'ah was by words only, as was reported by his wife 'Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her). She said that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would test the believing women who emigrated to him with the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): "O Prophet! When believeing women come to you to give you the bay'ah (pledge), that they will not associate anything in worship with Allaah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal sexual intercourse, that they will not kill their children, that they will not utter slander, intentionally forging falsehood (i.e., by making illegal children belong to their husbands), and that thye will not disobey you in any ma'ruf (Islamic monotheism and all that which Islam ordains), then accept their bay'ah and ask Allaah to forgive them. Verily Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." [al-Mumtahinah 60:12] 'Aa'ishah said:

"So whoever of the believing women agreed to these conditions, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would say to her: 'I have accepted your bay'ah by words.' By Allaah, his hand never touched the hand of any woman when accepting their bay'ah; he accepted their bay'ah by saying 'I have accepted your bay'ah on this basis.'"

(Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4512; according to another report: he accepted their bay'ah by words... the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman except a woman he owned. Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6674).

Some Muslims feel too embarrassed to refuse when a woman offers her hand to them. Some of them claim that they are forced to shake hands with fellow-students and teachers in schools and universities, or with colleagues in the workplace, or in business meetings and so on, but this is not an acceptable excuse. The Muslim should overcome his own feelings and the promptings of the Shaytaan, and be strong in his faith, because Allaah is not ashamed of the truth. The Muslim could apologize politely and explain that the reason he does not want to shake hands is not to offend or hurt anybody's feelings, but it is because he is following the teachings of his religion. In most cases this will earn him respect from others. There is no harm done if they find it strange at first, and it may even be a practical opportunity for da'wah.

And Allaah knows best.

Sheikh al-Munajjid